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May 20 2018

sneakyfeets:

Pokemon fans 2018: Ugh I HATE people who use computers to add Pokemon into their game it ruins it for the rest of us

Pokemon fans 1999: Raise two Sneasels to level 57 who both have Beat Up as their third move and breed an Egg from them, then clone 5 pokemon by turning off your game during a save make sure the 5th one is corrupted data named ? that you can’t put in the PC because it doesn’t actually exist and will brick your game all so the Egg will hatch into a level 0 Celebi that knows Drill Peck

May 18 2018

gravemom:

veraxplus:

shacklefunk:

exchanging grammatically correct emails with adults is the most uncomfortable form of human interaction in existence

People who unironically reblog this have to psych themselves up for 15+ minutes to make phone calls

ur fucking right we do

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fuckthisshittheyrealltaken:

outosumi:

Two women talking about a transwoman using women’s restroom.

Lady A: He is in there only to peep on women.

Lady B: Were you there to peep on other women?

Lady A: No.

Lady B: Neither was she.

Lady A: She is a he!

Lady B: Are you a he?

Lady A: No.

Lady B: Neither is she.

Lady A: But he has a penis!

Lady B: Have you seen her penis?

Lady A: Yes!

Lady B: Then I firmly believe you are the one who did the peeping.

oooOOOOOoOOOHHHHhhH SSssHHhIIITTtT

thorsbian:

thorsbian:

In honor of me approaching my first 6 months mark as a flight attendant, here are some highlights from my time in this job:

  • When a lady stopped me gently to whisper that i had “mastered the art of kindness”
  • When an elderly woman told me i was “put on earth to be a flight attendant”
  • Each and every time someone complimented my nails
  • When i found an $8000 diamond watch left behind under a seat, gave it to a gate agent, only to have the passenger come running back 10 minutes later. Gate agent: man u wouldve been in trouble, huh? Man whom looked like a bond villain: i wouldve been SHOT.
  • Every lesbian ive worked with and had the nice bonding moment of “ur gay?? Im gay!!”
  • That time a man tried to get huffy with me because he wasnt in 1st class and i got to say “sir u can either sit in this seat or u can sit in a seat in the terminal while u wait to take the next flight”
  • When i had an emergency landing because the pilots lost steering and we all thought we were gonna die but then we didn’t and everyone just applauded the landing and didnt even complain about the 2 hour delay
  • When my flight was delayed for 3 hours because the plane wouldnt start so the crew and i just took a really long nap in the jetway
  • Every 4 and 5 star hotel ive stayed at for free
  • When we overnighted in the middle of nowhere in alabama and went to a sports bar at midnight. The bartender locked the door so it was just him and us and his friend, and we all got super drunk on obscure alcohols and i kicked everyones ass at pool
  • That time i had an emergency landing because one pilot had such explosive diarrhea that the other 2 pilots had to wear oxygen masks
  • When we overnighted in a casino resort in new orleans and ended up drunk on margaritas and playing blackjack with a bunch of old people at 2pm
  • Every little kid on my flights
  • Every dog i got to pet on my flights
  • When we were flying to nyc during julliard recruitments and half the seats were taken up by cellos
  • Being in airports late at night and seeing people sleep in the weirdest places because they just dont care (bathroom floors, under gate agent desks, etc)
  • When a woman forgot her actual baby on the plane
  • Woman: can i board first? Gate agent: are u special needs, active military or priority? Woman: no i just want to board first. Gate agent: maam i have 70 other people who also want to board first, im not looking for a line leader.
  • My very first working flight, when a man pointed to my necklace and said “is that a ball gag?” And, in my shock, i said “no, im gay”
  • That time a ramp agent came up to me holding up his phone and said “wanna see something weird?” and i said yes, reservedly, thinking it might be gross but then he held out his phone and it was just a picture of hundreds of paradise birds that we were apparently flying to a zoo

adrians:

adrians:

the best thing about having the house to myself is that I can make breakfast in my underwear

image

petiotte:

If you see this

You were visited by the magic kitten of rest. Reblog to have a good night’s sleep.

You Are Going To Have So Much Success In 2018 (pass it on)

paganinpurple:

I nearly scrolled past, but I got nervous

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sawsan-ff:

gvacamolly:

petitbear:

skittleoakley:

Daughter tells her Dad he’s going to be a Grandpa [x]

When he says “really” ;’)

Never leave this un-reblogged

my heart is not okay.. I’m about to cry

May 15 2018

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